


Uselessly Yours

by DOOMLover21



Series: Widojest Week 2020 [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Caleb Widogast Needs a Hug, Confessions, F/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25226653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DOOMLover21/pseuds/DOOMLover21
Summary: Caleb has a conversation with Jester about being happy. Critical Role Campaign 2. Widojest. Widojest Week 2020
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Widojest Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818529
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47
Collections: Widojest Week 2020





	Uselessly Yours

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This is for Day 7 of Widojest Week 2020: I'll Tell You Later or Uselessly prompt.

**Uselessly Yours**

**AN** **: This is for Day 7 of Widojest Week 2020: I'll Tell You Later or Uselessly prompt.**

It has been a long day, and the strange group of adventurers known as the Mighty Nein are bustling around their makeshift camp. The tall firlbog and the small halfling girl work a little against one another as they attempt to make dinner. In the distance, the pale, broad woman with black and white hair watches as her smaller half-shaven monk friend leads their half-orc companion in a series of exercises. She strums her harp and smiles as she watches the half-orc sweating and panting profusely as he barely keeps up. The redheaded human nervously approaches the female tiefling of their group, who had been drawing her friends in her sketchbook.

"Can I ask a question, Jester?" the auburn-haired wizard asks, wringing his hands.

"Yeah, sure, Cayleb. What is it?" she answers in her usual cheerful fashion. She threads her pencil between her horn and hair and turns to him.

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me that you have been trying to push me into a relationship with just about everyone we meet." Jester is quick to realize that he didn't really ask a question, but instead accused her of trying to set him up. She lets the non-question question slide, and instead tries to hide her embarrassment by acting dumb.

"What?!" she asks in a poorly faked shocked tone. The intelligent man is not so easily fooled, and his stern look makes her give up the act fast. She sighs violently. His face softens.

"Jester, I…uh…I'm not mad…I want you to know that," Caleb stutters as he fidgets with a piece of wire. A smile slowly creeps up her face.

"I know," Jester mumbles. She sighs again.

"Am I wrong, though?" he asks. She shakes her head.

"Noooo, not reeeeaaaallllly…I meeeeeeaaaaaaannnnn I guess I have kind of, sort of haaaaaaavvvvveeee been…" Jester trails off as Caleb chuckles.

"But why, though?" he asks immediately.

"I just want you to be happy, Cayleb," she says sincerely.

"I am happy, Jester," the redhead replies with a small smile.

"Not all the time, you're not," Jester says as she lowers her head.

"Well, I'm not usually a happy guy," he confesses with a concerned look at her. She gives him a sad, yet hopeful expression.

"But you should be with someone who makes you happy. Someone that makes you happy just being near. Someone that you, like, **really** like and that makes you feel good," Jester rambles. His mind immediately jumps to the blue-skinned tiefling standing in front of him, and how much his miserable, murderous self doesn't deserve her or her kind of happiness and love.

"It's useless," he rasps in the softest, saddest, most heartbroken tone that she'd ever heard in her entire life. The pained expression on his face coupled with his misery filled voice brings her to the brink of tears.

"Why? Because you don't think you should be happy? Or is it because you haven't found someone like that?" she asks concernedly.

"I don't deserve…" he breathes out as he shakes his head repeatedly.

"So, you already have someone that makes you happy like that?" she asks in a hopeful tone. He gives her a sad little smile.

"Ja." She smiles warmly at him.

"Well, you should be with them then," she tells him.

"It's not that simple," he states with a shake of his head. His mind brings up thoughts of the fire all so long ago and the screams and guilt that followed the first spark.

"Sure, it is. You just need to tell this person that you think they're wonderful..and amazing..and handsome..and that they make you all sorts of happy and stuff," she says. In her mind, she can already picture herself telling the handsome man in front of her the same exact things, and she imagines him becoming so overwhelmed by it that he gives her a peck on her lips that soon transforms into a passionate battle between tongues. His voice snaps her out of her visions.

"I don't deserve them, and they most definitely don't deserve me."

"Why? Is it because you're a sad wizard?" Jester asks teasingly. She giggles nervously and his forehead crinkles as a grin creeps up his face for the briefest of moments before the pain and misery take their place again.

"Nooooo?...Sort of…uh..it's complicated." His body slumps as he sighs. He can't believe that he's about to admit this to the joyous tiefling before him.

"They are such a ray of sunshine in my life, and I don't need to tarnish that light with my misery," he confesses.

"But you said they make you happy; so, how could you still be miserable?" she questions. She finds herself wondering, not for the first time, how someone so smart could be so stupid sometimes.

"They do make me happy and make me want to be better for them. But I can never change what I've done," he tells her. She takes both of his hands in hers, and he freezes instantly.

"What you've done? So, what; are you talking about, like, the stuff that Ickythong made you do?" she questions. He chuckles in spite of himself. He really has to hand it to her, that nickname is pretty funny.

"Ja and…" he trails off. He would say more, but he can't bring himself to.

"They shouldn't blame you for being manipulated and stuff though. And it's not like you did anything **reeeeeeeeaaaaallllllllly** terrible, right?" she asks, not expecting the answer.

"I murdered my parents," he mutters, hoping she can't hear. He isn't sure what made him say it, and he's sure he'll regret it later. But for now, he finds himself strangely relieved to get it off his chest. Jester waits a moment in silent retrospection.

"So that's what you meant when you said you hurt the ones you loved the most," she whispers. They stay silent for a bit as Caleb wallows in his misery and trauma. All the pain-filled memories wash over him, and she squeezes his hands to break him out of his revery.

"But you regret it, right?" she asks with a hopeful lift. He lifts his head to look at her.

"Ja," he whispers in a barely there rasp.

"Well, then you can't be all that undeserving of this person you like. I mean you're already such a good person, Cayleb, and sure you did a very bad thing, but you regret that bad thing you did so that means you're not a bad person. 'Cause **like** a bad person wouldn't be all, **like** , guilty and sad about it." Tears come to his eyes as he launches himself at her. He snakes his arms around her body and holds her as tightly as his skinny arms can manage. He's not sure why he does it, but at the moment he doesn't really care.

"Oh?" Jester gasps in shock.

"Ich liebe dich, Jester," he breathes into her hair.

"What?" she asks in confusion.

"I love you," he whispers. Her face softens, and she wiggles her arms free enough to hug him back. After a moment they pull away, and she looks into his deep blue eyes that are staring back into her lavender ones with adoration.

"You really mean it? Liiiiike, you reeeeeeeaaaaaallllly, **really** mean it?" Joyful tears pool in her eyes as he slowly nods. She takes him in her arms again and squeezes him perhaps a little too hard.

"I love you too, Cayleb," she breathes into his chest. He sighs into her dark blue locks as he rests his head on hers. He plants a gentle kiss onto the top of her head.

"I've always loved you, I think," she admits. He hums back. She isn't sure how long they stay like that, arm's tangled and breathing in one another's scents. And for once in his life, Caleb can admit that he isn't sure either nor does he care. He's found joy unimaginable, and for once he doesn't question his worthiness of it.

"If you'll have me, I'm yours," he purrs into her hair. She nods as fresh tears stream down her face. She squeezes him a little tighter and he grunts just before she eases up.

"Ja." He heaves a sigh, and makes an attempt to hold her tighter.

"Uselessly yours," he swoons.


End file.
